Meet Daisy

This is Daisy. She is a brindle boxer female that was born on Feb 10, 2009. I had been talking about wanting a puppy for several months leading up to graduation. I knew that I would have a house by myself and that I could handle taking on the responsibility of a puppy starting in June. Well at the end of May, my sister found a guy who had some boxer puppies left and she got him down to a reasonable price. She said she hadn't gotten anything for graduation or my birthday and wanted to know if this would be adequate. Well, I was in Alaska and wasn't going to be able to do anything with a dog for a couple weeks. She said she would keep her until I was ready. Well, starting the first weekend in June Daisy became a part of the family. She is extremely smart (sometimes too much for her own good), and has already began training well. It does make a person assume a higher level of responsibility as she has enourmous amounts of energy. She thoroughly reminds me of this on days when she doesn't get to exercise adequately. In this picture, she is sporting her hiking pack. On July 3, she broke it in at Grayson Highlands on a 7.5 mile day hike. She does extremely well on the trails and I look forward to many hikes with her. I believe she will be a good first dog experience for Maggi as well. Since she has good stamina (which is continuously increasing) she will make a good running partner for Maggi, as I make a poor running partner. I am relearning above all else: PATIENCE.

Boston Butts

Mmmmm.... doesn't that look delicious. This happens to be a labor of love; love of good food. This process takes some planning, but if you have the time I will tell you how to make some delicious pork that you can brag about.

You need to start about three days before you plan on having your event. All of the following recipes are for two butts. This is how they come valu-sealed to your local meat department. Usually you can get a bit better deal if you go for two and they don't have to do anything but weigh it and price it.

The first step you will want to do is inject the meat. Make sure that you have a proper meat injector or it could get really messy. Make sure the butt is fat side up, and you want to inject down through the fat. I like to do four in the corners and one in the middle. I will inject once straight down, then down at angles. After injecting the butts put them back in the refrigerator (I usually put them in a trash bag) and let them sit for 12-24 hours.

Injection recipe:

At the same time I like to make the rub. I don't know if it makes any difference letting it sit for a while but I like to think that all the spices get a chance know each other and start mixing and mingling a bit.

Rub recipe:

Now its time to put the rub on. Pull the butts out of the refrigerator and set them in some type of container that can catch all the excess. I like to rub down the butts will plain yellow mustard first. This give a great base for applying the rub to and helps with another level of flavor. Liberally apply the rub to all sides of the but. Make sure to get it in all the nooks and crannies. Once you have your butt rubbed down well, place it back in the refrigerator for the next couple days. You need to have it on there for a minimum of 4 hours, the longer the better. The salt in the rub helps draw down the rest of the seasonings into the meat.

Now that the meat has marinated for a while you can get your cooker or smoker fired up. Anywhere between 210-225 F will work nicely. Once you have your temperature stabilized go ahead and place your meat on the rack (fat side up). You will need to let it cook for 10-12 hrs. There is no need to turn the meat at all, and resist the temptation to open the cooker. You will be able to tell exactly when your meat is done with a meat thermometer. When the meat reaches an internal temperature of 190-195 F its ready. Once you have the meat off the cooker put it in a safe place (preferably in a pan in the oven) and let it "rest" for an hour. After that you can pull, chop, and eat. Sprinkle some extra rub on and mix it in for an added kick.

Class Reunion

I was the last person to graduate from Ashe Central High School. I was in the class of 1999 and the reason I was the last person to walk across the stage was because the Senior Class President called out the names of all the other members of the graduating class. I thought that awesome, but little did I know what responsibility lied ahead. I was unaware that the class president was to organize the class reunions. Well, here we are 3 days from the class reunion. I have put in many hours trying to coordinate and organize this fiasco. Now it is almost here and I can't wait till it is over. All it seems to do is produce drama. I organized a core group of people that were seriously interested in helping plan a reunion. Well, they couldn't ever agree on anything or communicate in a timely manner. Half of them were upset because I chose the location I did, but there was a deadline for choosing a location and that required looking at cost/person. I was the only one who submitted a price so we were forced to use that location. There was so much interest in the beginning and now I have only had 22 people RSVP for Saturday (that includes guests). I have enough money to pay for food and drinks now, but I am going to be very short on location rental fee. One of two things is likely to happen, 1)people will show up who didn't send anything in, or 2)I will end up covering the cost of everything.

Thankfully, I have had the help of a few good women. Brent Cockerham, the longest friend I have ever had, and Kendall Wagoner have really helped out a lot, and have offered to help out on Saturday. Ali (Roark) Williams has stepped it up as of lately and is helping get things set up as well. More than anything, Brent has been a voice of reason for me when I have gotten frustrated. She offers rational viewpoints and always seems to find the best in a situation. The best part of the weekend is that Maggi will be here. After this, it will just be one more weekend and she will be here permanently.

I will be cooking 75 pounds of boston butts in the next day and once that is completed I will be able to rest easier. But I have come up with an amazing rub and injection recipe for the butts. I will share it with the world, but it will have to be its own delicious post.

Kermit was right!?!

I was at a meeting a few weeks ago, the meeting of course was on "greening" the community. One of the members of the committee said, "Kermit wasn't right, it is easy being green." We I'm here to say to the contrary, "It ain't easy being green." Why might I say that? No, it's not because I am trying to convince potential clients to use Eco-Green for their green consulting. It is because as I wade through the seemingly endless websites, news articles, press releases, government documents, and tax information, I realize that it is really confusing stuff. Sure there are people out there all the time telling every one that if they just buy this or do that they can reap the benefits of a state and federal tax credit. They don't however tell them how to obtain that tax information and what forms they need to fill out.

Then we come to the renewable energies, solar PV, solar thermal, wind, micro-hydro, and geothermal. Now it took me the time to get a college degree before I could say I was qualified to design and install landscapes, but it only takes a couple days in a short course and you can be "certified" to design and install a micro-hydro unit. Frankly, I want someone with a little more experience telling me what I need to spend my money on. Then you get into certifications and does your product meet SRCC OG100 regulations, if not then you can't even qualify for tax credits.

There are people pan handling Vertical Axis Wind Turbines (VAWT) as the revolutionary wave in small wind technology. Most have not been thoroughly tested. They say they are lower maintenance than your standard propeller turbines, but physics says its just not possible (centrifugal forces).

Bottom line, make sure you get a life cycle assessment on whatever you purchase. How long is it guaranteed to work, what are the maintenance costs associated with it, is there a pay back period, what is the actual tax credit/reportable depreciation value, are there any limiting local or state ordinances that must be followed. There is a lot of homework involved and the simple answer is, No, it ain't easy being green.

Thank God for Little Improvements

There are many times I have heard people say "I am praying for you." My curiosity always wants to know what exactly are they praying for. I have seen many occasions where people pray for miracles during tragic events or circumstances. I'm not here to dispute the fact that God can perform miracles. I know he can, but the reason they are called miracles is because of the frequency with which they happen. If miracles occured on a regular basis then they would no longer be miracles, they would become normal and worse, maybe even expected. What I do believe God provides on a regular basis are little improvements. What we too often do is overlook them and keep hoping for something bigger and more drastic. We must learn to give paise for the little things. Your prayer may not have been answered the way you intended but it was answered with divine knowledge.

Do you feel better? "Well, I feel a little bit better than yesterday." I say that is a blessing. Thank God that you feel better than you did, even if it is just a little bit. It could just as easily be the opposite and you could feel a little worse, or even a lot worse. So let us not forget to give thanks for all things in life, not just the easy to see miracles that stand out.

Life in Transition

I was talking with my mom last night about schedules and trying to establish a routine. I was talking about how difficult it was right now because as soon as I was to get one established, then it would all change again. She then pointed out that our entire family is in a transition period in their lives. Most of these happen to be good transitions, but nonetheless they are still changes and there are adjustments that have to be made.

My brother recently had a wedding at the beginning of June. Before the wedding, he and I were roommates, afterwards he moved into his new wife's townhouse that they had recently remodeled. Both of them are adjusting from long single lives to dealing with each other's quarks. He spoke to me the other night about his wife's lack of financial planning and how frustrating it was going from a comfortable life to what he considered "poverty" now. It didn't help that she had abdominal surgery two weeks ago, and they still haven't gotten everything in their new home straightened out, on top of the fact that she is a teacher and has no income in the summer. They will make it through it, and be better for it.

My middle sister is planning a wedding that is to take place September 26th. The only problem is that they have not settled on a location as of yet. The original plan was to have it on the farm outside of Burlington, NC (that's where his family is from). They were to have their reception in a barn that has not yet been constructed. It still hasn't been started so that plan went out the window. She has since been looking at a couple locations in the mountains. Her fiance is being very stubborn about not wanting to have it in her home location. She has desperately wanted to be married for some time now, and I worry about how happy she really is. She moved to Burlington over a year ago to be closer to him (he gave her an ultimatum that there would be no engagement until she had lived in the same area for several months). She left a job that was perfect for her and where everyone loved her, and she accepted a job that she is not happy in even though she is making a significant amount of money. The coming weeks will tell the story of this future bride.

My mom just recently retired from her career as an Agriculture teacher on June 30th. She is now trying to change her mindset from that of always trying to figure out what it is she needs to be doing next, to one of a more moderate pace. She has had a regular routine for many years and now that routine has dissappeared. She was telling me that now she has to mind another routine and she hasn't exactly figured out what that is going to be. My stepfather is currently gone for the week and mom expressed how that was a good thing so that now she can try to establish a routine for herself instead of looking to him for the next task.

My finace finished her last day of work at Rex hospital in Raleigh yesterday. She now has three weeks off until she begins her new job here in the mountains. She decided to move closer to where I am. I had seen my sisters situation and I wanted to make sure that she didn't leave a good job just to be closer. Well, she found a job that is closer to helping her achieve her life long goals. She is now at home for a couple weeks working on wedding planning and visiting with her family. I just finished college in May, started a new full time job and got a house by myself. I am still trying to get the house in order. I actually have no simbilance of a routine other than the time I go to work and the time I get off. At this point I have accepted that there isn't any point in trying to establish one till Maggi gets here in August.

I don't know that there is any point to take away from this other than Life Happens, plain and simple. Change is inevitable and one can either fight it and be miserable, or roll with it and learn to embrace the new in life and leave the old behind, and turn your worries over to God.

Relay for Life

I have joined a Relay for Life team that my church is hosting. The team name is Miles for Mel and is dedicated to the memory of Rhumell Ball. She was a very special lady that touched me deeply and she battled breast cancer for nearly 19 years. She finally lost her last battle earlier this year, but before that she was an inspiration to us all. I have never really been able to verbally express how much Rhumell meant to me, most of the time just thinking about it causes the crashing of a wave of emotions.

On April 28th, 2003, I was diagnosed with testicular cancer. I will say that to me, and most likely millions of other people who hear it each year, the three scariest words in the English language are, "You have cancer." It was a whirlwind of tests before the diagnosis and an immediate surgery the very next day afterwards. I recuperated from surgery for four weeks and then on my 22nd birthday, May 26, 2003, I started 5 weeks of radiation treatment, 5 days a week. I don't know that I ever really dealt with my emotions at that point in my life. My family was was trying to keep it together emotionally, and I figured it was my responsibility to keep up a strong front to help them deal with the total helplessness of the situation. I also believe that my youthful exuberance and ignorance prevented me from grasping the gravity of the situation. There was also a multitude of other life changing events occurring, with the biggest being my reacceptance to NC State University and trying to become prepared for moving and attending school later in August.

Relay for Life has brought a flood of emotions back to the surface and I believe that I am just now mature enough to deal with the emotions that I should have had back then. It is overwhelming to think about battles people go through for another chance at life. I narrowly escaped the cancer spreading to my abdomen which would have involved a more invasive operation and a lengthier treatment period. The worst period for me were the two weeks before I went to the doctor. I knew what I had found was serious, the burning pit in my stomach told me something was wrong. It caused me to grow up and reevaluate priorities in my life. Rhumell also helped me, she would have been considered a professional at battling cancer. Even though she was fighting for her own life, she always showed concern for others. She sought me out and gave me comforting words, reassurance, and foresight into the months to come. She always checked up on me and asked how I was doing in the years that followed.

Since that time I always cringe when I hear that someone has cancer, and I have had several close friends diagnosed. I take the time upon hearing this awful news to stop and have a heart felt prayer. Why? because that is all anyone can do. Rhumell taught me that it is completely out of our hands. We must turn all our worries and concerns over to God and in him place our confidence for the future. In the end, we may not be spared from death, but along the way we can help to comfort others going through the same situation and help to ease their worries. I know that there were people all across the country, many that I had never even met, who were praying for me.

Now, I have learned that there is the possibility that my Grandfather has bone cancer. He has not heard those three awful words yet, but I know he is in that horrible period of not knowing what will happen. Today, I see it from the other side of the fence. I am the helpless family member that can do nothing but pray for the best. Being in this situation, it makes me realize how horrible it must have been for my parents, watching a child carry this heavy burden and not being able to do anything. I know that there were tears shed behind closed doors so that my attitude would not be affected by their agonizing concern.

The next week and some change will be emotional. I am attending a cancer survivors ice cream social tonight. I asked Grandmama if she would accompany me as one of my caregivers. In the past I have always come up with excuses of not being able to attend, mostly because I knew I would have to deal with emotions that had been suppressed and ignored for a long time. I think also there is a part of me that feels guilty in being associated with other cancer survivors that had a much more difficult battle than I did. Next Friday night, I will be walking in the survivor's lap before the official start of the Relay for Life. I know that this will be a powerful experience as all the luminaries that are in honor or memory of cancer victims are lit. I hope to make this an annual event as it serves as a reminder, to me, that I have a responsibility as a survivor to offer support and comfort to others who are currently going through this ordeal, much the same way that Rhumell Ball helped me.

Isn't she beautiful

This is my fiance, Maggi, and I at my brother's wedding in June. Since everything I think of when I look at this picture seems to be a quote from a chic flic movie, I figured I would dedicate this post to those movies and their quotes.

"You complete me" ~ Jerry McGuire

"Take love, multiply it by infinity and take it to the depths of forever.. and you still have only a glimpse of how I feel for you." ~ Meet Joe Black

"You are what I never knew I always wanted." ~ Fools Rush In

"When they ask me what I liked best, I'll tell them it was you." ~ City Of Angels

"If you love someone you say it, you say it right then, out loud. Otherwise the moment just... passes you by..." ~ My Best friend's Wedding

"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody,you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." ~ When Harry Met Sally

"I love you without knowing how, why, or even from where" ~ Patch Adams

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." ~ Annie

"You make me want to be a better man." ~ As Good As It Gets

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." ~ Moulin Rouge

"Love is like the wind.. You can't see it, but you can feel it." ~ A Walk to Remember

"The being in love is better than the falling in love." ~ Simply Irresistible

"There you see her, sitting there across the way, she don't got a lot to say, but there's something about her, and you don't know why, but you're dieing to try... you wanna kiss the girl." ~Little Mermaid

I believe I will have to do this again a little later to include more and keep this from becoming a monstrosity of a post. I must say that my favorite is definitely the last.

Any regrets?

As I write this, my wonderful fiance is having her last RD meeting at Rex Hospital in Raleigh. A few months ago it seemed so far away. I hadn't even graduated college then. Now the time is upon us when Maggi will be closing one chapter in her life, only to open and begin writing a new one. I understand all the emotions she is going through. It was just a year ago that I packed up all my stuff and left Raleigh to move to the mountains. I had lived in Raleigh for 5 years and all my friends were there. It is difficult to leave people behind that you care about. The only thing that you can hope is that they remain in touch and that you didn't make a mistake by leaving.

This brings me to the topic of change and how it is dealt with. I stand on the minority side of the fence on this one. My life has been nothing but one continuous line of change. I have moved all over the place, worked many different jobs, and had wonderful, amazing people flow in and out of my life. There are many occasions, when a smell or a sight reminds me of times past. I stop and wonder how a person is doing. My thoughts then fade back to the present and I say a little prayer that, where ever that person is, what ever they are doing, they are blessed. Do I have any regrets? No, how could I? I understand that God's plan supersedes any cognition I may have had about what was in store for me. In order to understand his plan I have to look at my life as one collective event. I can't pull out segments and analyze them individually. A life must be studied as a collective unit. Now I say that I don't have any regrets, I want to be careful to distinguish that from disappointment. I have had several disappointments and have been disappointing to several people over the course of my life. A regret is something that we dwell on and wish we could change, and it is often associate with the phrase "What if...," or "If I had just..." A disappointment is a mistake that was made and we acknowledge it as such. We try to use it as a lesson to learn from for the next time we encounter a similar situation. The key difference I believe is forgiveness, not only by other people but also by ourselves. A regret often lacks the forgiveness component of life. We must realize that not only are we called to forgive the mistakes of others, we must also forgive ourselves. Once this event has occurred, change is then possible, but if not, then we will forever be stuck in the past.

I look forward to the change in the coming months, as Maggi gets settled in up here, starts her new job, and essentially her new life. I fully understand all the sacrifices that she is making, and I will do my best to never forget my responsibility to make sure she has no regrets. After the next few weeks are over, there will no longer be changes of a singular nature. All changes will occur to a couple and not to an individual. Does the future scare me? Maybe it used to, but now I welcome it with open arms because as Jack Johnson said, "Its always better when we're together."

Scariest Day of My Life

On May 25th, 2009 at 1:12 PM Pacific Time Sam, Gretchen, Maggi, and I were in a wreck in Palmer, Alaska. It was Memorial Day, and we were headed to Hatcher's Pass for some leisure hiking before a cookout later that day with Sam and Gretchen's bible study group. Our plans changed in a matter of seconds when two cars came speeding down the mountain road. The first car (with a 9-year old passenger) narrowly missed us. The second car, skidding out of control, crossed the center line and hit us head on. We came to an immediate stop, and thankfully all the safety features of the Ford Escape deployed and we were all wearing our seat belts. The police projected that the 1992 Honda Accord was traveling between 60 and 70 mph when it struck us. Sam and I sustained very minor injuries. Gretchen was in an extreme amount of pain, and later we learned she had fractured 4 of her vertebrae. Maggi can not remember anything associated with the wreck. She hit her head and was exhibiting signs of a concussion. I will spare a large amount of the details because I have had to repeat them too many times.

Why was this the scariest day of my life. It wasn't the wreck itself, but the situations that were out of my control that haunt me. I have been through some life threatening situations before, but all those times were situations that just involved myself. I could handle that, I knew what I was up against, it was just me. Well, that wasn't the case this time, there was someone involved in this that was more important to me than life itself. I stared into Maggi's eyes and she asked me where Travis was and how he was doing. She repeated this question several times and I was helpless. Nothing I was capable of doing could fix this situation. The paramedics arrived and labeled Maggi's head trauma as the most critical at the scene. They called in the MediVac and put her on a body board. I watched my fiance, the love of my life, wheeled away on a gurney, unsure of where she was going or what was wrong. After that I didn't know what to do, I was standing there in the middle of the street with a neck brace on, surrounded by carnage and chaos that had such a short time ago been a peaceful, scenic mountain road.

Well, later that day, we were all released from the hospital. I observed Maggi all that night and over the next several days for any changes or signs of trouble. Gretchen is still recovering from her injuries and we are all praying for a full, back to normal recovery. I am thankful that Maggi doesn't remember anything. Just before I fall asleep at night, when the lights are out, I am revisited by visions of the car skidding towards us seconds before impact. Sometimes, as I drive, similar scenes flash around me and an instantaneous, brief moment a wave of panic envelops me. It truly is a miracle that we were able to walk away from that accident, and that I still have the opportunity and privilege to spend the rest of my life with Maggi. It is a blessing and I will use this as a reminder to never take her or the time I get to spend with her for granted.